Now that’s an interesting question! The Latin root of the word solitude is solus, or being alone. The Sanskrit word for solitude is ekanta meaning seclusion or the absence of loneliness. Confused?
As social animals, we humans crave connections. The safety, togetherness, sharing and creativity we feel in groups, tribes and families is hard-wired after many millennia of evolution. This has contributed to the success of homo sapiens in surviving and thriving. We feel as if something is missing if we are not with others, to the point where we can find it psychologically disturbing.
Indeed many of my clients identify feeling lonely, or being alone, as the reason for reaching out for support. It’s not perceived as a nice way of living because it often means missing out on the experiences, feelings and memories that, for others, make life so memorable. This includes the less savoury ones, as these too are part of human existence that help us appreciate the good ones.
Is solitude disturbing or can it actually be truly liberating? What if we could appreciate its benefits and turn it into an inspiration, source of strength and reconnection with oneself, rather than of disturbance?
On a recent trek in Tibet, I was struck by the raw beauty of the mountainous backdrop and the abundance of nature….but also by the absence of people.
Observing herds of yaks munching (and excreting) away, wild horses running after each other (it WAS mating season) and soaring chortling eagles had the effect of activating my senses. In addition, managing my breathing (challenging at 18,000 feet altitude), whilst focussing on not tripping over rocks, contributed to a feeling of truly being in the moment.
I found there were some predictable reactions: ‘where is everyone…’ I’m missing the safety and company of others’ or ‘how is life back home’. These thoughts inevitably did occur, though much less and intensely than anticipated.
Without becoming too philosophical, there was a liberating opportunity to reconnect with one’s essential self and surroundings plus create a mental space to ponder a wider perspective on what really matters in life. How privileged was I to be in this place at this time, and be part of a wider human experience!
The clarity of mind that came with this was illuminating…and unexpectedly emotional to the point of generating tears of pure joy.
A stronger sense of self-reliance and resilience also permeated with thoughts of meeting the physical and psychological challenges. We can often forget this inner strength we all have in our everyday lives
So, being alone sometimes enables these moments of clarity, reconnection and reassurance – with no distractions, hindrances or unhelpful baggage. Grab them when they occur, or create them when you can.
Being in nature, wild or not, is a great way to do this as are the good old staples of deep breathing, movement, mindfulness and meditation.
Cherish solitude and be alone with yourself, rather than avoid or fear it.