CREATING SAFETY TO PROCESS TRAUMA – PART 1

Processing trauma can be daunting, whether you’re addressing it for the first time or revisiting past experiences that have been hidden away. To do this, it’s essential to establish a sense of safety by strengthening our parasympathetic (calming) nervous system. By expanding our “window of tolerance”, discussed previously, we can process emotions without becoming overwhelmed.

Below are some practical exercises that help achieve this and lay the groundwork for effective trauma processing. Write them using old fashioned handwriting as this can be incredibly powerful and builds a personal connection (something typing cannot always do).
 

1. List the places where you feel safe and secure. These can be real or imagined, past or present, permanent or temporary.

2. Identify people who make you feel protected and loved. These can be real, imagined, remembered or possibly divine. List those who accept you fully, with all your flaws.

3. Write a list of music or songs that make you feel safe or happy. These may be linked to cherished moments in your life – or simply bring you joy. Listen to them regularly.

4. Recall safe memories by writing about times when you felt safe, powerful, joyful or free – we all have them, even if we have experienced tough times. Reflect on why these moments were significant and revisit them often, especially during difficult times.

5. Write a list of sensations that make you feel safe – sights, tastes, sounds, smells, things you have touched. Familiarise yourself with the sensations that send a message to your brain and body that you are safe right now.

6. Write what you are skilled at, what you are gifted at, what are you competent at and what you have accomplished. Read this list regularly to reinforce your resilience and release that serotonin.

7. Detail your fondest memories in detail. Notice how recalling these moments brings a sense of inner peace and joy.

We can also activate some helpful visualisations. Before doing so, close your eyes and take some deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth.

1. Visualise your safe place, real or imagined. Then draw it on a piece of paper to activate the visual cortex in your brain as you create, and “see” a sense of safety.
2. Picture someone who makes you feel safe standing or sitting with you. Imagine hugging them and notice the calmness it brings. Recall the feeling when you look intently into their eyes.
3. Visualise a powerful beam of healing light entering the top of your head. Watch it travel down and fill your body with warmth, strength and comfort. Notice how strong and content you feel.
4. If you start to feel overwhelmed by a memory or an emotion, visualise placing it in a container, locking it up and setting it aside for later processing. Say “I am going to come back to that later – when I am ready.”
5. Be here in the present moment. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Remind yourself you are now secure and free of any danger.
6. As a self-affirmation, remind yourself that “I am safe right now. I have faced difficult challenges before and can do so again. I am resilient and adaptable.”

Try each of these – pause and notice what you feel in your body. We’re bringing to mind a sense of safety that creates a real physical reaction like joy, contentment or peace. Choose the exercises that resonate most with you and incorporate them into your daily routine. Practice them in the morning, evening, or whenever you need a safety boost.

When ready, start using these exercises during mildly anxiety-provoking situations. Gradually, as you become more comfortable, apply them in more challenging scenarios.

Over time, you’ll expand your window of tolerance and sense of safety, preparing you to tackle and process trauma effectively.